GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD

Deleted

Joined on: Apr 23, 2024 18:36:54 GMT -5
Posts: 0

GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 2, 2010 8:38:45 GMT -5 DJS likes this

Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2010 8:38:45 GMT -5

We see a three men, a little boy with brown hair and two other men in suits.

Man in red suit: Kane, how was your day how was your day?

Little boy: Hey kane how you doing?

Kane:

off homosexual aint got no time. (drinks some coffee) who serving this hot ass crap

Little boy: kane come on its my mom coffee

kane: i dont give a

who made this

ing bullcrap

little boy: kane why you making fun of my mom coffee

The other man says

MAN: Listen here boy your mother coffee very nice, i like it myself. even though she put cinnamon in this crap

boy: thats not cinnamon

man: let me finish talking mother

er

boy starts flipping out going crazy my mom coffee is the best

man: stop screaming your starting to pissing me the hell off imma slap yo ass, maid nurse. take this bitch away

GLADIATOR CHILDHOOD

sonstuds WF Mod *Video Games: General Mod* WF 10 Year Member Joined on: Jan 28, 2002 18:36:54 GMT -5 Posts: 13,158	GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 3, 2010 2:03:18 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by sonstuds on Jun 3, 2010 2:03:18 GMT -5 amazing.

recklessmatten Guest	GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 3, 2010 2:14:53 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by recklessmatten on Jun 3, 2010 2:14:53 GMT -5

Deleted Joined on: Apr 23, 2024 18:36:54 GMT -5 Posts: 0	GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 3, 2010 8:51:41 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2010 8:51:41 GMT -5 thats my superbrawl rp

ZMaster
WF Legend

Joined on: Jul 29, 2003 15:56:07 GMT -5
Posts: 6,682

GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 4, 2010 7:34:34 GMT -5

Post by ZMaster on Jun 4, 2010 7:34:34 GMT -5

I'm not active in the rp world but I've been around and this honestly wasn't that good. In fact, I felt you rushed it out. I can understand if you want to make sure you get it done before Super Brawl and nothing wrong with that. I'm willing to give you ideas on what you can do to improve. I'll start with the beginning.

Description: Try to make the setting a bit more descriptive but not too much. There is a fine line of that. Read a few rps that have done description and try to pick up from there.

The match: You didn't really seem to focus on it and just made something and didn't understand it. What made Gladiator want to wrestle? It's okay to have a back story but just didn't flow well relating to your character. It's like you didn't really mention anything about it or even did character development.

I hope this helps you out and gets you a better feel for it. Always do the best you can and keep an open mind to improve yourself.

The IWC is not a hivemind.

Sabin Main Eventer Joined on: Apr 1, 2009 16:07:43 GMT -5 Posts: 4,527	GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 8, 2010 15:00:43 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Sabin on Jun 8, 2010 15:00:43 GMT -5 Jun 3, 2010 8:51:41 GMT -5 @fullmetaljacket said: thats my superbrawl rp yeah, start reading some other guys rp's. this had nothing to do with your match and It was confusing as crap. No real setting or description.
	1x Pivot Crusierweight champion Pivot record 4 -4

Deleted Joined on: Apr 23, 2024 18:36:54 GMT -5 Posts: 0	GLADIATOR'S CHILDHOOD Jun 8, 2010 18:44:27 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2010 18:44:27 GMT -5 Thanks I didn't rush it, I planned it like for 3 days

Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2010 8:38:45 GMT -5

Post by sonstuds on Jun 3, 2010 2:03:18 GMT -5

Post by recklessmatten on Jun 3, 2010 2:14:53 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Jun 3, 2010 8:51:41 GMT -5

Post by ZMaster on Jun 4, 2010 7:34:34 GMT -5

Post by Sabin on Jun 8, 2010 15:00:43 GMT -5

Post by Deleted on Jun 8, 2010 18:44:27 GMT -5